Exactly 1 month ago, we said goodbye to our sweet old orange cat, Karlos. 3 days prior, we buried his brother, Gustavo.

They were only 2 years old. Days before, they had been as healthy and bright eyed as could be. No physical signs of trauma, no warning, just gone.

This is their story.

Karlos and Gustavo were born feral on a farm. My (now) husband, Daniel, surprised me with them as a gift when they were 7 weeks old. We had tossed around the idea of getting kittens for a while, but kept putting it off. I came home after work to a large cardboard box. Looking inside, two tiny terrified kittens were looking back up at me! I cried so many happy tears I think it scared them off. It took a while for them to get accustomed to living with a family, and even longer for our pup Leroy to realize Gustavo was not, in fact, a squirrel.

While they eventually warmed up to us and the luxuries of indoor living, (ahem, kitchen counters and warmth of the wood stove) they preferred the outdoors. Both boys would both sit and cry at the back door wanting to be let out during the day, but would always find their way back at night to snuggle with me on the couch. Or, in the case of Gustavo, to snuggle with Daniel’s shoes. Not sure why, but he loved sitting in his slippers and work boots.

Being raised around 3 dogs from such a young age made these kittens act, well, like dogs. We could stand at the back door and yell “meow, meow,” and they would coming running! Every evening when Daniel would pull into the drive, Gustavo would hop right in to greet him. When we would take the dogs on a walk, both cats would be right behind us, following the whole way. We lived a merry little life this way for two years. It was perfect.

Christmas Eve, Gustavo didn’t come home for dinner like he normally does. After spending some holiday time with family, we came home and searched for him with flashlights. It was too late, when we found him he was cold and stiff. After the initial shock, I remembered he had been previously diagnosed with a heart murmur and the vet said this may happen. He would be fine one day and then at any time throw a clot and pass away with no warning. Maybe that’s what happened, we thought. Devastated, we buried him that night.

The next day, Christmas, we noticed Karlos had blood in his urine and took him to the emergency vet. Unfortunately, he was misdiagnosed with a UTI, and by the time we took him back in the next morning on the 26th it was too also late. Unlike Gustavo though, we were able to take him home and make him as comfortable as possible. My husband and I sat with him all night; petting him, letting him know how loved he was, crying, and comforting him and each other. Karlos passed away in my arms at 3am.

Something didn’t sit right with us. The boys went from happy and healthy to sick and gone within such a short time. First Gustavo, then Karlos?! We had our suspicions and needed answers. The necropsy results confirmed what we knew in our hearts, but didn’t show up on the original lab work.

Rat poison.

The vet explained that when a dog ingests rodenticide, it’s mainly because they are natural scavengers who will just eat anything. With cats, since they are carnivores, (baring the unthinkable intentional poisoning) most of the time it’s secondary poisoning. As in, they eat a mouse or rodent who has been poisoned, therefore unknowingly poisoning themselves.

We think Gustavo just ingested more, causing him to pass within hours. It make sense, that cat would eat anything; Karlos was the picky one.

While we do not know whether this was an intentional poisoning or secondary poisoning, I hope Karlos and Gustavo’s story can bring awareness. We do not use, have never used, and never will use rodenticide. (That’s one of the reasons we got the cats in the first place.) I like to think this was just an accident; one of our neighbors using bait without knowing, or realizing, the harm it could cause.

Education is key. These scenarios are completely preventable; rodenticide is not the only way for pest control. With it being colder, more critters are looking for warm places to live. If you have a rodent problem, please do NOT use this stuff. There are safer alternatives (snap traps) that humanely kill only the intended target. There’s even snap traps that are covered so you can dispose of it without seeing it.

Secondary rodenticide poisoning does not only harm your pets, it also has a devastating affect on wildlife. Predatory birds, foxes, raccoons, and other scavengers are all at risk. More information about this can be found here:

I can’t blame our vet for misdiagnosing Karlos.

I blame myself.

I ignored my gut instinct that something more serious was wrong. I let the professionals convince me it was a coincidence. I didn’t press them harder that this was a case of poison. This guilt is what keeps me up at night.

People say indoor/outdoor cats have the shortest lifespan. Knowing that doesn’t make our loss any easier. Blaming whichever neighbor with the mouse problem doesn’t take away the pain either. My husband and I knew it was a risk to not keep the boys inside at all times. But they thrived outdoors and no matter how we tried to keep them locked up, they would always dash outside the first second they could escape.

Watching how miserable they were inside during the day compared to how happy they were in frolicking in the grass, hunting voles, and soaking up the sun on the porch. . . as much as it pains me now, I would rather them have a short, fulfilling life than a lifetime of longing for the outdoors.

I will always choose quality over quantity. These were wild boys, who allowed themselves to be affectionate towards our pups, my husband, and myself. You can take the cat out of the wild, but you can’t take the wild out of the cat.

I hope our heartache can be a wakeup call for someone else.

I love you, boys. Meow, meow.

These are the last pictures we have of them. They aren’t enough.

This was all preventable.

Swim Time!